New Years!!

Every year on New Years day we sit down and dump out our jars and read through all of our blessings and memories that took place throughout the year. It's ALWAYS sooooo much fun to read the little notes that our family and friends left us on visits throughout the year, too! This has been such a fun tradition for years now.

Yesterday we sat down and started reading through our blessings jar and one of the first ones I read was from January of 2019.

We had suspected something was wrong with Max because he was drinking a ton of water so I took him to the vet in January to have a bunch of tests ran (Cushings, Addisons, etc). Every test that came back was negative and after weeks of trying to figure it out, the vet surmised the excessive drinking was behavioral and she told us we had a healthy Max. The note I read yesterday said "So grateful that all of Max's tests came back negative and that we were told we have a healthy boy".

Looking back on this now we could either be mad at our vet for missing his cancer, we could be mad at ourselves for not asking for addtional testing like an ultrasound, or we could remain grateful. Grateful, not for the heartbreak and challenge of what Max endured last year or what we went through, but grateful that we had him in the first place.

In life, sometimes awful things happen. We will ALL have to go through heartbreak, tough, and challenging times - many of which we don't deserve. Sometimes in life we will feel like we are getting throat punched or kicked in the gut for no reason at all. These times in life can knock us down or rise us up. These times can either make us bitter or they can make us better. They can tear us apart or they can grow us up.

You and me - we will NEVER be exempt from bad things happening. It's a fact of life. But what we can control is how we will react and deal when the waves come crashing down.

That slip of paper we read yesterday that said "So grateful that all of Max's tests came back well" doesn't make me mad. I could beat myself up and wonder "If only I had him checked further" but that is not going to get me any where. The truth of the matter is Max would probably still not be here today bc of the nature of his disease. The truth of the matter is this was a part of our journey from the very beginning.

I choose being grateful over being bitter. I choose growth over being right or over pointing fingers. I choose to be thankful that of the billions of people on this earth, that God chose us to know and love Max. God knew what was going to happen. He knew the journey ahead of us and he still chose us.

In life, we all get knocked down but I refuse to let that be my story. I refuse to let that define me. What defines me is knowing God and growing closer to Him through every battle I fight. What defines me is growing through pain, focusing on Jesus during times of grief and storms, and never thinking "why me" or "how could this happen".

Last year was a tough year full of tears and grief but it was also a year full of personal growth and growing closer to God than I ever thought was possible. I didn't run from what God had in store for us - I leaned in.... and that made all the difference.

I pray that for each one of you this year! When the waters rise, lean in. When grief comes or when the battle starts.... lean in to God and watch what He can do! ❤ #mymax