Followers

Monday, January 27, 2020

Good Grief



Charlie Brown certainly had it right. "Good Grief"! You remember how Charlie Brown would always say this and it became known as his motto. Sometimes when I watch episodes of Charlie Brown I can't actually believe how much bullying is in it! Like whoa! I don't know how we didn't realize it when we were kids but for the love - this cartoon character in his mustard yellow black chevron printed shirt was treated like crap! No wonder his motto was "Good Grief"! 

But the more I thought about this funny little character with his one piece of curly hair on the top of his head and his smart-alic gang of friends that he, for some reason, kept hanging out with, the more I thought that maybe there really is something to "Good Grief.

Grief is something we all experience at some point in our lives. None of us are immune to it. 

We will all experience grief in some form or the other, whether it be losing a parent, a child, a loved one, or a beloved pet. 

The word grief itself is defined in this way: "Grief is a multifaceted response to the loss of someone or something that has died, to which a bond or affection was formed."

 The definition itself explains how there can be good in grief. In order for someone to be impacted by a loss there has to be some type of bond formed. There is a quote that says "Don't smile bc it's over; smile bc it happened". When we experience a great loss or deep grief, at least for me, it helps to be grateful that the bond and relationship happened in the first place. 

I remember experiencing this when we lost our fur boy, Max. I remember reading another quote that said "When you have a dog, you will experience hundreds of good days and then have one horrible day". 

When I step back and think about that, it is really hard to not be grateful for the love and bond we had. For those hundreds, and for us, thousands of good days we had with our Maxie we are forever grateful.

Another quote says it well, too. 

"It's better to love and to have lost than to never have loved at all". 



Do you believe that? 

You see, when we grieve, our hearts feel like they are literally broken. 

Sometimes we feel like we will never be the same again, and for some of us, the truth of the matter is..... we won't. 

My friends... that's because we aren't meant to be. 

We aren't meant to be the same.

We are meant to be changed. 

When we experience deep sorrow and grief, it changes us and it's up to us to determine how we will be changed.

We can become bitter, resentful, or angry, or we can choose to be grateful, thankful, and find the good that comes in times of grief.

There is good...... I promise you, and I know this with certainty bc God experienced deep grief too and something good came from it.

God experienced grief when His son died on the cross and that had to be some deep deep grief.

Even though God knew it was going to happen and even though it NEEDED to happen, it doesn't mean God didn't experience grief while His son suffered. 

But good came from that grief and good, I assure you, can come from your grief, too.

No matter what kind of grief you are experiencing, there is good in it if you choose to see it.

Feel your grief. Don't push it aside. Don't bury it bc it will come no matter what you do. 

Feeling and experiencing grief is something we are meant to feel. Without grief we wouldn't have an appreciation for love. Without grief we wouldn't understand the deep deep bond that is possible. 

It's like light and dark.

Without darkness we cannot appreciate the light.

Without bad times we wouldn't be able to have a deep appreciation for the good times.

Without rain storms we wouldn't see rainbows! 


When you go through times of grief, look for the rainbow. When you are experiencing deep times of grief and sorrow look for the light and be grateful for the bond and love that got you here.

And most of all, when you are grieving, remember and focus on the One person that truly knows the kind of grief you are going through - God! 

If there is anyone that understands grief it is God and He is the one that can get you through times of sorrow and come out the other end with a deeper love and deeper peace than you ever thought was possible.

We feel grief bc we have loved.

We love bc God loved us first.

Take God on this grief journey with you and for once in your life be like Charlie Brown in saying "Good Grief". 



xoxoxo,
Brenda



 




 

Thursday, January 2, 2020

New Years!!

Every year on New Years day we sit down and dump out our jars and read through all of our blessings and memories that took place throughout the year. It's ALWAYS sooooo much fun to read the little notes that our family and friends left us on visits throughout the year, too! This has been such a fun tradition for years now.
Yesterday we sat down and started reading through our blessings jar and one of the first ones I read was from January of 2019.
We had suspected something was wrong with Max because he was drinking a ton of water so I took him to the vet in January to have a bunch of tests ran (Cushings, Addisons, etc). Every test that came back was negative and after weeks of trying to figure it out, the vet surmised the excessive drinking was behavioral and she told us we had a healthy Max. The note I read yesterday said "So grateful that all of Max's tests came back negative and that we were told we have a healthy boy".
Looking back on this now we could either be mad at our vet for missing his cancer, we could be mad at ourselves for not asking for addtional testing like an ultrasound, or we could remain grateful. Grateful, not for the heartbreak and challenge of what Max endured last year or what we went through, but grateful that we had him in the first place.
In life, sometimes awful things happen. We will ALL have to go through heartbreak, tough, and challenging times - many of which we don't deserve. Sometimes in life we will feel like we are getting throat punched or kicked in the gut for no reason at all. These times in life can knock us down or rise us up. These times can either make us bitter or they can make us better. They can tear us apart or they can grow us up.
You and me - we will NEVER be exempt from bad things happening. It's a fact of life. But what we can control is how we will react and deal when the waves come crashing down.
That slip of paper we read yesterday that said "So grateful that all of Max's tests came back well" doesn't make me mad. I could beat myself up and wonder "If only I had him checked further" but that is not going to get me any where. The truth of the matter is Max would probably still not be here today bc of the nature of his disease. The truth of the matter is this was a part of our journey from the very beginning.
I choose being grateful over being bitter. I choose growth over being right or over pointing fingers. I choose to be thankful that of the billions of people on this earth, that God chose us to know and love Max. God knew what was going to happen. He knew the journey ahead of us and he still chose us.
In life, we all get knocked down but I refuse to let that be my story. I refuse to let that define me. What defines me is knowing God and growing closer to Him through every battle I fight. What defines me is growing through pain, focusing on Jesus during times of grief and storms, and never thinking "why me" or "how could this happen".
Last year was a tough year full of tears and grief but it was also a year full of personal growth and growing closer to God than I ever thought was possible. I didn't run from what God had in store for us - I leaned in.... and that made all the difference.
I pray that for each one of you this year! When the waters rise, lean in. When grief comes or when the battle starts.... lean in to God and watch what He can do!  #mymax