Remember the rocking?
Yep.
Today I rocked.
When we arrived at MSU today I was super anxious and so was Max. Max has actually not been nervous on any of our trips to MSU but I think he was feeding off my anxiety today bc he just wanted to be in my lap. When his 2 oncologists walked up to say him to him, he clawed his way up me (literally) and was clinging to me and didn't want anyone touching him.
I have no doubt it was because he could sense my worry and anxiety. :( They took him back for his pre-lab tests (bloodwork, urine analysis, etc) and Colin and I chatted about what we were going to do since it was going to take a few hours. I was too nervous to just sit there so we decided to go and grab lunch and then go and walk around a nearby camper store so we could browse campers.
It was just over an hour when I received a call from his oncologist.
I always brace myself for these conversations because since we started this journey, these conversations have always been devastating. From finding out his initial diagnosis and prognosis, to finding out he is NOT stage 1 and more like stage 3, to learning he is not a candidate for stereotactic radiation like we'd hoped.
These conversations are always so nerve wracking and I hold my breath a lot.
I will never forget going to the Ellen B. Thompson center to find out if I had breast cancer and when walking across the parking lot towards the building, my legs started to feel like I was wearing cement boots. I couldn't lift my legs. I stood on the corner and literally could not walk. Colin was with me and he was so patient and just told me to take my time. I stood there and cried, hyperventilated, and couldn't walk in. I will never forget a bus going by me and people just looking at me through the windows.
Sigh.
Waiting on a diagnosis or test results is SCARY!
Maybe you, too, can relate.
So, here I am standing in a gravel parking lot wearing my flip flops looking at campers with a stone stuck in between my toes holding my breath.
The first thing Max's oncologist said was "We see progression in Max's cancer."
Deep deep sigh.
Take a breath Brenda.
This freaking stone is in between my toes still.
To which I replied "Ok. So what does that mean?".
She said that the tumor on his prostate grew but not a lot. It grew from 4.2cm to 4.5cm (so +.3cm). This COULD be inflammation and is honestly great news that his main tumor has not really grown.
The nodules on his lungs have doubled in size (but they were VERY small to begin with). She said there was not any change in the size of his lymph nodes that were enlarged (there are two of them).
We discussed changing up his chemo protocol and using a different chemo medication. Cancer is smart and can adapt to certain meds so when one med isn't working or not working as well as they'd like to see, they like to switch it up to a different med. We are moving from Mitoxantrone to now Vinblastine. The meds are comparable and the side effects are pretty much the same. The main difference in these meds are the Mitoxantrone is given intravenously over about a 30 minute duration whereas the Vinblastine will be a shot and it will be given quickly.
We are going to also give him the Vinblastine more often, so instead of having a chemo treatment every 3 weeks, he will have one every 2 weeks for now.
In 6 weeks, we will re-test and have more scans done on Max to see how he is doing on the Vinblastine.
We always knew there was a chance this could happen and we are thankful there are other medicine options available.
When I got off the phone I had an initial feeling of panic and tears. The more Colin and I talked we realized how blessed we are that his cancer hasn't grown more! There was a chance it could have metastisized to other organs and there was a chance his main tumor on his prostate could have grown tremendously, so the fact there hasn't been much progression besides on his lungs is a big win.
Of course, we were hoping to see that his tumors had shrunk, but that is just not the case right now. Max's cancer is a very aggressive cancer and looking at these results, we think coupling his treatments (immunotherapy, radiation and chemo) has helped to slow down it's progress, which is what we want to have happen.
We NEED to see the silver lining. We NEED to remember that Max is clinically healthier than he was in the spring. His blood work is fantastic and looks great and he is feeling good and acting almost normal. He still chases bunnies. He still steals shirts and tries to rip up blankies. Just this morning he was doing zoomies on our bed and bouncing around and playing!
Max is thriving with having cancer. He is living a good life and is happy. His cancer doesn't define him (or us) and he is doing well. God's hand has been evident and He continues to guide us and keep us strong. He has given us such a wonderful support system and shows us His love every single day.
On our tired days we will remember this.
On the days Max isn't feeling well we will remember this.
On days where I have a stone stuck in between my toes I will remember this.
All will be well because God loves us and because my Maxie is happy.
Chemo treatment #3 (new chemo med Vinblastine):
Day 1: Max was tired most of the night. He was not nauseated (we had them give him a shot of Cerenia and he will get a Cerenia pill daily for the next 6 days). He was hungry and wanted food but I only gave him less than a 1/4 cup of boiled chicken soaked in bone broth. He wanted to eat more BUT food and sedation doesn't usually work well for him. He never became nauseaus and he slept from 12am to 4am, went out potty, and was back in bed asleep by 4:30am.
Day 2: Max was tired today. He is straining to poop but he doesn't have much in his system food wise since he had to fast yesterday and didn't eat much. He ate REALLY well for both breakfast and lunch! He has slept most of the day and has been drinking a lot of water. He ate dinner well and his late night snack went down fast! We are limiting his water intake from 7pm - till morning so he can hopefully sleep through the night. His stool was a teenie bit loose but I am giving him pumpkin to help firm it up. Over all, great day. No nausea.
Day 3: Another great day today! No nausea to speak of at all. We have been giving him cerenia all week long along with his normal dose of CBD oil. His poop looked fantastic today! Like the best I have seen in months! The pumpkin is helping to keep everything firm and he isn't straining to poop at all. He has a great stream when he pees too. Over all a great day. He ate really well, too with no problems. He was happy, a little tired, but went potty great. Only woke up at 5am to go potty! Wahoo!
Day 4: Today is normally the day he doesn't want to eat after his last few chemo treatments but this is a new med that we started this week (Vinblastine). He woke up at 3am to pee and then again at 5am bc of the skunk on our front porch. :) I gave him 5 drops of CBD oil at 3am. He woke up again at 7am and was excited to eat! SO SO HAPPY! I gave him only chicken with bone broth today along with pumpkin so it was easy on his stomach to digest. He ate well for all of his meals and had no nausea today! Super exciting! We will see what tomorrow holds but maybe this new med is easier on his tum tum. Still a little tired today but he is doing well.
Day 5: Still a little tired today but he did not have any nausea at all! He ate totally normal today. He was not picky about his foods, was VERY eager to eat, and did well for all meals! He has also not strained at all to poop this entire week. His poop looks like normal dog poopy! We do the happy dance every time we go out! He isn't straining and he hasn't had diarrhea. I am giving him pumpkin for 2 meals during the day so I think that is helping. He hasn't had any issues with his tummy at all on this new chemo med.
Day 6: Still doing great! Pooping and eating great! The only side effect he has had is he has been more tired than on his other chemo med but Vinblastine seems to be way easier on his tummy. No GI upset and not diarrhea and his poop continues to look great and he has had no straining!!!!
Day 7: Same as above! He continues to eat well! Poop looks GREAT! No straining! Yeehaw! I had his wbc count checked on 9/24 and it was lower but nothing to be alarmed at. His oncologist said he was fine and wouldn't need to be on any antibiotics. New chemo drug seems to be working great with him! Only side effect of being tired!
Cost of treatment today:
$860.33
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